A Mother’s Choice

fig18baby3.5mos

Image of three and a half month old baby

The following is a heartfelt sharing from Connie Crosbie, Sr. Mary Clare’s sister, who is a very faith-filled Catholic. We are blest to have Connie uniting with us in our mission, and immersing herself in our MOME spirituality.

Can a mother forget her infant,
    be without tenderness for the child of her womb?
Even should she forget,
    I will never forget you,” (Isaiah 49:15)

AS WE REMEMBER the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion, I wonder how we have come so far in such a short amount of time that not only is abortion acceptable but those who do opt to not abort are often considered to be foolish.  Often they are made to feel that it is “selfish” to bring a child into this world when it is not planned for.  Often they feel the pressure to conform to the morality or lack thereof from a society who applauds the Supreme Court of this land while ignoring the dictates of the true “Supreme Court” of Heaven.  As  I ponder these thoughts I feel compelled by the Judge of the Highest Court to write this letter addressing it to those women standing at the crossroads of deciding whether or not to abort the unplanned baby in their womb or to let the baby live. This letter is not one intended to pass judgment on these women but rather to let them know that they are not alone.

Initially, if you had asked me my stance on abortion when I was 18 years of age I would have told you that I am opposed to it.  I was raised in a devout Catholic family that emphasized the beauty of life as a gift from God.  Still this background did not protect me from the temptations of this world.  I was 19 years of age, unmarried, living with my then boyfriend against the loving pleas of my family.  I am not proud of this time period in my life and now realize there was a darkness enveloping my soul so that I was imprisoned.  I was prideful and believed it was no big deal to “live together” prior to marriage, after all it was considered the “smart” thing to do.  Don’t get married without testing the waters first.  Of course, I surrounded myself with like-minded people as I did not want to be told that I was living in a manner offensive to God.  I told myself that “those” people were “old-fashioned” and that they needed to live in the present times.  This was the stage in which I discovered that I was pregnant.

Notably, my first response, which I believe is shared by most women, was fear.  I was afraid to tell my boyfriend, afraid to tell my parents and afraid to tell my friends.  I told myself I am too young, I am not married, I am poor and I do not have a home, how could I now be pregnant in the midst of all this chaos.  Ironically, I found myself praying that it was a mistake and that I was not really pregnant.  Of course, God had other plans but I could not see them at that time as I was blinded by my fear.  Almost immediately after I mustered the courage to tell my boyfriend that I was pregnant, I was bombarded by the advice of “rationale” people encouraging me to have an abortion. I now know that the devil was playing on my fears pushing me towards a decision that I now know would have haunted me forever.

Signally, I was not a woman of faith at that time making it all the more difficult to ignore the “good advice” of my friends and boyfriend at that time.  I felt alone with absolutely no support.  I knew that my family would have advised me differently but that would mean swallowing my pride and having their disapproving glances weigh me down.  I believe this is when the devil’s attacks are the most difficult to ward off.  One by one each person that I associated with told me that I should have an abortion and gave me all of the reasons that it would be the “right” choice if not the “only” choice.  I was afraid that if I did not heed their “ good” counsel that I would lose everything I had come to know, i.e. my lifestyle, my friends, and my boyfriend (who now, praise God, is pro-life).  It seemed that having an abortion was my only escape from this nightmare. I was alone.

Fortunately, by only the grace of God, was I able to stand firm in my convictions and refuse to terminate the pregnancy.  I just could not live with myself if I killed my baby.  This choice flew in the face of all logic and human reasoning.  Yet, armed with God’s omnipresence and love, my son was born.  It had been difficult to tell my friends that I did not agree with them and that I was keeping the baby.  It was difficult to tell my parents that I was pregnant outside of marriage.  It was difficult to stand firm against the father who did not want the child.  Still, with all this difficulty God gave me the strength that in the end gave me the greatest fulfillment in my life.

Connie and Phil

Connie Crosbie, and her precious son, Phil Crosbie (who is also my godson)

Fast forward 33 years later, I became very sick and could no longer work or provide for myself.  Who came to my rescue and gave me a home and all the necessities of life?  Yes, it was the very son that I had struggled with giving life all those years ago.  Praise God who placed upon my heart how precious this child would be to me.  Praise our Heavenly Father who stood eagerly waiting to be the only father necessary for my child to have a full life. Praise God that He saved me the day that He saved my child.

Importantly, do not think that I am brave or steadfast of spirit.  Rather, I waiver and falter just like every human being as we are all fallen living in a sinful world.  Instead, please think of me as living proof that you can withstand the temptation to abort and that you have a God –given strength that will enable you to persevere through the trying times ahead as you make the only real “choice” and choose to protect your child like any good mother should.  You are not alone in your fears and concerns.  Know that the choice you make is forever in your heart.  I choose to love my child and therefore love life.  What a gift from God.

Finally, for all of the women who are reading this in sorrow as you feel the emptiness of making the divine-mercywrong choice, know that you have a Heavenly Father waiting patiently for you to turn to Him for healing and forgiveness.  Embrace the true Father of us all as He surely is rocking your baby to sleep in Heaven.  Yes, God’s gift of life is immense and priceless, but His Mercy abounds.  Understand that you already made a mistake in terminating the life of your child, do not compound it by turning away from the infinite mercy of the Creator of all life; yours and the baby you carried if only for a brief time.  You cannot heal until then.  There is only one who can judge you that being our most loving God who will surely forgive you if you only ask.  Please do as your baby wants to be reunited with you in Heaven.

(by Connie Marie Crosbie)

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6 thoughts on “A Mother’s Choice

  1. Shannon says:

    I am Connie’s youngest daughter. I can honestly say she is an amazing woman and mother. I also had my 1st child at 20, and although he had a severe medical condition and passed away at 19 months of age, I would not change a thing. He is the best thing to have happened to me, and he was a happy and amazingly perfect gift from God. Thanks for teaching me about the importance of life Mommy.

    1. admin says:

      Thank you for sharing about your wonderful mother and son, Shannon. You sound like a wonderful mother yourself!

  2. Joanne Bangs says:

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful and powerful testimony! God bless you Connie!

  3. Maryjean Cannata says:

    Wow, really touched by this testimony. What a blessing your son is. Missing you here on Cape Cod.

  4. Sarah says:

    It was a foolish time for me. I wish I had been more understanding and caring.

  5. Sarah says:

    always a good retread to put life in perspective. Connie is amazing and brave.

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